We agreed to take care of Lily's former class pet over spring break as a favor to her old 4th grade teacher. She's a guinea pig and a lovely house guest, despite being a bit of a squeaky wheel. We'll make her comfortable here, and shower her with love and affection...provided that she follows the rules of the house.
So welcome back, Bugsly. I hope you will enjoy your stay with us.
Wake up call at 8 a.m.? Of course, ma'am. Fresh Timothy hay daily? Very good, ma'am. Snuggling on Sam's lap for hours at a time? Absolutely, ma'am. Leaving little brown Tic-Tacs on my furniture?
Fuck you, pig.