Wednesday, July 16, 2014

If My Cat Could Talk

If my cat could talk, our conversations would probably go something like this.

Hi, Zoe!
No.
Here, kitty kitty.
Leave me alone.
Aw, come here, sweetie.  Want me to pet you?
Oh, god.
Would you like to sit on my lap while I watch t.v.?
    ...
:D
     ...
:)
*...blink*


Please?

I'll tell you what, sport.  I'll perch on your knee for a while and look bored.

Cool beans.  My lap awaits!

"Lap"?  I said "knee".  Are you stupid?
Right.  My knee!  Sorry.  My knee awaits!  Come let me love you."

I've changed my mind.  You made it weird.  I'm out."



Zoe, why don't you ever act like a pet?
Fuck you.

Some Other Stuff I Wrote