Monday, June 4, 2012

Keeping it clean.

John's Uncle Jim asked the girls if they'd like to walk with him in a small town parade wearing his campaign t-shirts.  "Us?!  In a ...PARADE?!"  Of course they were more than happy to oblige.  They've already been helping out by putting together more than 600 yard signs for him.  Good kids, they are.  They probably would have done it even if he hadn't paid them.  But this...was a PARADE.  That's like Super-neatoriffic!  Hells, yes they'll do it!

Their job was simple:  Look adorable.

As their mother, my job was also simple:  Keep them clean until Jim got here to take them off my hands. 

Keep them clean until Jim gets here...  Keep them clean until Jim gets here...
How can we kill ten minutes and still keep them clean?
Hey, I know!  Let's take a few dozen pictures of them in the yard.  Where the dirt lives!  That's a recipe for success!

Line up, girls! 

What's got six thumbs and just made it into an embarrassingly picture-heavy blog entry?

These guys.

Me: What other picture should we take?   Want to make a pyramid?
Lily:  Mom, that will get our shirts dirty.
Me:  Ooh, good call, Lily.  You're right.  Let's do something else.

Madison:  No, wait.  Let's do it this way.  Here, Sam.  Give me your foot...Lily, take the other one!  Now stand up, Sam...

"I can't stand up, you're gonna drop me!"

"I changed my mind. I wanna get down."

And then there was some discussion about Madison's belly button...
"It's an innie AND an outie, see?"

So the other two had to check theirs out as well. 

But Lily was distracted...

Uh...Lily?   Did you find something shiny?

She's busy.  We'll come back later.

What were we doing?  Oh, right.  Keeping the kids clean until Jim gets here.

Wait a second.  Where did Madison go?   She's in the Strawberry patch!  Why is she there?  Because nothing makes you hungry for red berries quite like a nice white shirt.   IT'S BERRY-PICKIN' TIME! WOOT!

After addressing Jesus by his full name, I asked if it was too much trouble for the girls to at least TRY to avoid All Things That Could Stain for the remaining eight and a half minutes until Jim arrived.

"I'm being careful, Mom.  Sheesh."
"I hope so, Maddie."
"Don't call me Maddie."
"Shut up and eat your berries, Kitten."
"Ha." *eyeroll*

"Madison!  Don't wipe strawberry juice on your pants!"
"What!  It's not on my shirt!"
"True enough.  Carry on."

They picked this one for me.  Um...thanks?

"Like my earrings?  They're real."

I'm gonna eat you!!

Get in mah belleh!

Then Madison got a hold of the camera...

...while Sam did a little pool maintenance.  The Starlings thought our pool was a giant birdbath last week.  Oh, and did you know that mulberries are in season?  Even if you suck at math, you'll know that equals, "Sam! Watch out for the bird poop!"

Against all odds, they managed to stay clean until Uncle Jim arrived.  I have no idea how.  Really.  None.

 It's up to you now, Jim.  Good luck, man.

How would you have made sure they stayed clean in those sparkling white shirts?  Tell me.  I can take it.


  1. Duct tape them to the clean walls ; )

  2. I would have opted for red shirts with white lettering. Probably wouldn't have stood out as well though. My kids can't stay clean for a minute in a white shirt, so I banned then long ago.

    1. would be better for berry picking! ;)

  3. haha, VELCRO and a wall... yes... good idea Steph... yes... very good idea... hehe...

  4. I would have tied them to the dining room chairs...and waited outside for Uncle Jim on the curb, where it's quiet.

    I laughed so hard I had tears, Erika...LOL!

  5. kept them nekkid until Uncle Jim got there

  6. I woulda made them wait in tanktops or something and then put the shirts on when they got to the parade. Or handcuff them to each other. Either way

    ~ Sarah

  7. I too have banned white shirts in my family, too. I've never seen a shirt that was exactly the same on the front as the back. I guess that's perfect for a message they can see coming and going, and you could switch it around if they got a stain on the front. What cute girls you have!

  8. I am gonna agree with the Duct tape, but instead of to a wall, to each other. Harder for them to move.


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