Monday, January 31, 2011

Sick Phuck

The story of my friend's plight as the very busy wife of a husband with a cold
(interpreted by yours truly).

*great hulking man beast bellows*

"Katie, HELP! Come quick!"

*Katie runs in* "WHAT?!"

"I just blew my nose into THIS Kleenex and it's all greenish and gross. LOOK!"

*shoves tissue at Katie*

"Yup, it sure is."

"Am I going to die? I don't FEEL good.” *whines* “Man, I think I need to lie down."

*genius of melodrama lies directly on the floor*

Katie: "Welp. *sigh* Is that all you wanted me for?"

"BUT... I'M DYING HERE!"

"Yeah, I can see that. *eyeroll* Look, I'm baking and taking care of your son and two dogs and cleaning and a number of other things so if you need me for anything else, I'll be in the kitchen."

“BUT—“

“Remind me what the doctor told you.”

*Pouting* “Drink fluids and get some rest.”

“And what else?”

*quietly* “Don’t be such a pussy.”

“Thank you. I’ll be in the kitchen.”


"Katie?

[pause]


Can you get me some juice?"




"No."

Some Other Stuff I Wrote