Showing posts with label the bloggess. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the bloggess. Show all posts

Monday, July 2, 2012

My Parenting is so full of WIN.

My children recently had their semi-annual plaque scraping and professional tooth polishing appointment.  Even scheduled early in the day, we spend most of our morning there.  Three kids, three cleanings, one oral hygienist...Yeah.  It takes a long-ass time.  
 We came prepared, having brought a backpack filled with crayons, coloring books and reading materials, but it was the Mancala board that got the most use:
Mancala Tournament: Hour Two
By the time the last child was released with healthy teeth and gums, we were nearly starving.  I promised to feed the heathen spawn, so we headed to McDonald's.  (Where else can I poison my family for under twenty dollars?) On the way there, the girls decided that British accents were just what our boring old car ride needed.  The next twenty minutes on the interstate were very entertaining.  Did you know that anything and everything is not just funny in a horribly exaggerated accent, but freaking hilarious?
The fun didn't stop when we reached the drive-thru at McDonald's.  
While I wasn't savvy enough to order the food in my semi-convincing accent, I did greet the cashier who took my money with an enthusiastic "Ello Guvn'a!" making Madison nearly shoot a snot rocket at the windshield trying to stifle her laughter, while the two in the back brayed like donkeys.
Having still not had enough fun, we kept it up all the way home, the hilarity of the situation causing the two smallest campers to increase their volume with each word they spoke.  Finally, I had to ask them to bring it down a notch, saying, "You know what, guys? I don't think they yell everything in Great Britain. I can't recall the last time I heard someone announce: "IT'S TIME FOR TEA!"
Just then, the high pitched, and overly affected voice of Samantha piped up from the back of the van and yelled, "MERRY CHRISTMAS, BITCHES!!!"

I'm still trying to decide whether that's a parenting fail or a parenting win.
 
Which do you suppose it is?
 
 
(If you are guilty of grinning at this, please share it with your friends.  If you thought it was a ridiculous waste of your time, share it with your enemies.)
 
 

Sunday, May 13, 2012

I don't need Hallmark to tell me you love me.

It's Mother's Day.   Sugar Daddy had already left for work, but when I came downstairs, I found this note waiting for me on the computer.  
I know this means that he probably forgot to buy me a card, but you know what?  I don't need Hallmark to tell me how special I am to him when he's got the means to link words together all pretty like that.  
I do love that man.  So as Elliot said regarding E.T., "I'm keeping him."
This was my note:
For my Wife on Mother’s Day:

No fancy card is going to convey how proud I am that you are the Mother of our children. You help raise them with their best interests in mind. You do so much for them that I could never do, or do as well, like hair, “girl-talk” make-up, etc.. Since I work a lot, it’s so nice, and comforting, to know that there is stability here at home provided by you.

We are all thankful for what you do as Queen of this castle. WEAR YOUR CROWN PROUDLY TODAY!!

Love,

Gidget


To answer the question his closing words put in your mind, yes, I call him Gidget.  He's also often referred to as Princess Stephanie.   And sometimes Sharon.
*shrug*
It amuses me.
 
 
Did you get anything meaningful this Mother's Day?

 
 

Some Other Stuff I Wrote