Showing posts with label on the way to school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label on the way to school. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

To The Obscene Pantomimist In The Car Behind Me

Dear Sir,

I know that you're in a bigger hurry than I am and I can see you in my rear-view mirror as you drum your fingers on the steering wheel and gesture emphatically at me to go ahead and make my turn.  I'd love to heed your request so you could stop waving your hands and making angry faces, but the light is red and I can read.  In case you can't, let me help you out.  That sign across from us says "No Turn On Red".

Stupid ass.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Dear Corporate Maven on your way to work,

As I saw you stopped behind me at the light this morning, a short film ran through my mind...starring you. I imagined you parking your Lexus in the lot, grabbing your Starbuck's Morning Fix, adjusting your sunglasses and walking in to your job.

I thought of how many people's lives you would touch today.

Maybe you work at a bank where you would be granting someone's loan, making all their dreams of opening their own bait and taxidermy shop come true. Maybe you'd be turning down that loan on the basis that the 1974 AMC Gremlin they drove up in can no longer be considered collateral.

Perhaps you're in real estate and you were on your way to a very important closing that would pay for another month or two of driving that luxury sedan or nearly pay for your youngest child's first year at the University.

Maybe you're one of the administrators at the hospital and you were on your way to meet with your fellow administrators and discuss important things like whether or not the new hospital security cars should be white and blue or blue and white.

The light changed then and we parted company, you headed to the East and I headed to the South.

So, dear madam, wherever it was that you were going at 8:00 this morning, drive safely, do a terrific job and please know that you looked fabulous!





...and I saw you picking your nose.

Some Other Stuff I Wrote