|Found ya, sweetcheeks.|
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Monday, April 9, 2012
Not many people choose cannibalism as a kitchen theme.
It wasn't always this way. When we first moved into this house, "apples" was my theme. That's it. Just "apples". Plain, boring, non-threatening...apples. But they were everywhere! I had apples at the end of the ceiling fan pull chains, I had apple clocks and salt shakers and numerous cookie jars (on an apple-lined shelf). I even painted them on the cabinets. (Side note: Metal Cabinets are an abomination and should not exist ever, as they are horrifically evil, but that's a post for another day.)
The kitchen was so ridiculously covered that I eventually developed an aversion to the fruit. I was sick to death of those frigging apples, but I kept that theme for YEARS.
|The apple theme was going full-throttle |
before any of these people inhabited my uterus.
Eventually, I redid the kitchen and something inside me said, "For the love of all that is holy, get rid of the godforsaken apples! Every kitchen doesn't need a theme!"
However, in my desire to go theme-less, I inadvertently chose one anyway: cannibalism.
|My utensil crock of fabulousness.|
|My soylent sign.|
Yeah, I guess "Soylent Green" accurately describes my theme.
But, wait! I have this great spoon-rest, too:
|"Would you like more mutton, Clarice?"|
What did YOU choose?
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Alternate title: NO means "NO" - A Lesson In Self-Control
Yes. In my fevered frenzy of seasoning, the smallest particles of (really) crushed red pepper caught the wind of the ceiling fan and...I peppered myself.
"NO" means "NO". I get that now.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Hand-Painted Stoneware Brightens Your Table! A Brylane Home Kitchen® exclusive! Sunny striped 16-Pc. Dinnerware Set features salad and dessert plates centered by tangy colors-green, blue, red or yellow - so each place setting is unique! Includes 4 each: 10¼'' dinner plate, 7¼...
BUY THESE DISHES!
Pros: Easy To Clean, Awesome, Unique, Durable, Attractive Design, Nice Weight
Cons: Unfit for zombie warfare
Best Uses: Informal Meals, Decorative
Describe Yourself: Stylish
I bought two sets of these dishes last year and I'm still in love with them. They have not chipped, scratched or broken at all. The colors are fantastic. If I somehow managed to smash half the set, I would buy another in a heartbeat. They're just that cool.
Additionally, in the boxes of the two sets I bought, one mug was missing a handle. It had been broken during shipment, I believe, or perhaps during packaging. I contacted Brylane Home about this and they sent me a replacement mug that very week. (The broken mug made an excellent pencil cup, so I kept it.) I commend the customer service on their resolution of this problem. What an awesome company!
Friday, April 6, 2012
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Some Other Stuff I Wrote
One of my favorite humor blogs is Hyperbole and a Half , written by a lovely (albeit slightly demented) woman named Allie Brosh. I fell in...
Ever since I wrote this entry inquiring as to the whereabouts of my very most favoritest writer/cartoonist, I've gotten a lot (Alot) o...
For those of you who are teaching your kids the generic "girls have a vagina" lesson, you ARE teaching them that the proper term...
I like picnics. Sure, I mean, who doesn't? I can hear you now, my Ninja Babies: "I love picnics!" "Ooh, picnics? I...
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about truck testicles. Let me try that again. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about blogging ab...
Our winter holidays started out as normally as they could have, considering who we are. We had our annual dinner and gift exchange at the ...
Kitchens. They are the most common room (apart from nurseries) to have some sort of theme. Some have rooster themes, some have Italian or...
"...Hallelujah! Holy Shit! Where's the Tylenol?!" Clark W. Grizwold I wan...
And so it begins. Two weeks ago I told you we were getting fish . This week three teeny, tiny, little non-fish called Zebra Danios were ad...
When did mannequin parts become a popular choice in lawn decor? Penis De Milo? I wanted to ask that very question of the people who ow...