Wednesday, May 23, 2012

How to Ruin a Perfectly Good Hamburger - A Dinner Fail

Last night we had hamburgers.  I made what I thought was a Burger Extraordinaire.  (If anyone still remembers the McDLT, it was a bit like that.)  This burger looked and smelled great, but it still needed something.  I thought I'd be really clever and add cheese to this already fantastic-looking burger and increase its Fantastic Strength exponentially.   Cheese always adds power.  I think that's a gamer thing.

Sadly, pretty food isn't always delicious food.  This was one of those times.

See how incredibly yummy that looks?
If you could smell it, you wouldn't be drooling right now.

There was only one small problem.  A very pungent one.  In my cleverness, I thought Asiago cheese would be a good burger topper.

It wasn't.

Ms Smartypants' Burger Extraordinaire turned into the Burger of Unbearable Stench.  *gag*

So this happened:

Alas, the removal of 'ze stinky cheese did not help return my burger to its previous level of Fantastic, as the damage had already been done.  Melted Essence of Asiago permeated the bacon and the entire top layer of the pattied beef, making my dinner nearly unpalatable.

I removed the bacon, and cut off the top layer of the patty, but I could still smell the smelly smell of something that smelled smelly.

Of course, being the trooper and food addict that I am, I forged ahead, hoping for just one hint of the Fantastic that this burger had started out with.  I got this far and gave up:

I sat at the counter, trying to decide if I wanted to take the time to peel an orange to supplement my crap-ass dinner, when John announced with great excitement that there was a possum in the neighbor's yard.  I rushed outside with the camera in time to snap this picture of possum butt.

He was not amused.

I left the remnants of Stink Burger on the counter in the excitement of the possum sighting and the dog was inside, so of course he ate it. 

Good riddance, Stink Burger.
You sucked.

What do you like on your burgers?


  1. I am not familiar with the specifics of Asiago cheese, but I'll consider myself forewarned. Why do you have cheese capable of ruining your food in the house, in the first place? Seems that was where your mistake lay. I would feed the rest of it to the dog.
    And, that is a priceless possum pic. He seriously looks pissed off.

  2. Asiago is AMAZING on some things, like grated on pasta or pizza.

  3. "What do I like on my burger?" Well, not Asiago cheese, apparently!!

    1. Remember those cartoons with Pepe Le Pew and the Limburger? Now I understand what that dumb cat objected so much.

    2. I remember the fat kid on little rascals who smelled the limburger and thought it was a skunk...

  4. Bleu cheese! Next time, go with bleu cheese!

    1. Ooh, now THAT would be a far less nasally abusive stinky cheese to use! I do like the stinky cheese, you know. :)

  5. Bleu cheese was my fav back in the day. Now give me a good veggie burger with the lettuce, tomato, and onion or pimiento cheese.


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All others, thank you so much for your comments! ♥ Riki

Some Other Stuff I Wrote