Monday, April 9, 2012

I love Soylent Green because I love people!

Kitchens.  They are the most common room (apart from nurseries) to have some sort of theme.  Some have rooster themes,  some have Italian or French cuisine themes, some have nostalgic 1950's diner themes, some have specific colors that evoke a theme.  The list is endless and spans generations, marking its territory with mushroom-shaped cookie jars and olive or rust-colored appliances along the way.   

Not many people choose cannibalism as a kitchen theme.  

I did.

It wasn't always this way.  When we first moved into this house, "apples" was my theme.  That's it.  Just "apples".    Plain, boring, non-threatening...apples.   But they were everywhere!  I had apples at the end of the ceiling fan pull chains, I had apple clocks and salt shakers and numerous cookie jars (on an apple-lined shelf).  I even painted them on the cabinets. (Side note:  Metal Cabinets are an abomination and should not exist ever, as they are horrifically evil, but that's a post for another day.) 

The kitchen was so ridiculously covered that I eventually developed an aversion to the fruit.  I was sick to death of those frigging apples, but I kept that theme for YEARS.

The apple theme was going full-throttle 
before any of these people inhabited my uterus.

Eventually, I redid the kitchen and something inside me said, "For the love of all that is holy, get rid of the godforsaken apples!  Every kitchen doesn't need a theme!"
However, in my desire to go theme-less, I inadvertently chose one anyway: cannibalism. 

My utensil crock of fabulousness.
It's flecked with Soylent Green paraphernalia.  
My soylent sign.

Yeah, I guess "Soylent Green" accurately describes my theme.    

But, wait! I have this great spoon-rest, too:

"Would you like more mutton, Clarice?"

So make that "Soylent Green and Friends".    Whatever.  I'm just glad I got rid of those frakking apples.  

I'm really more of a people person anyway.

What did YOU choose? 

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  1. My kitchen has a dirty dishes and dried Play-doh theme.

  2. Currently cluttered, but somewhere under there, sunflowers.

    Good post, ees excellent!

  3. I have a green and brown coffee/cafe theme.

    I heart yours though. :)

    1. Yours looks awesome on television. ;)

  4. This is hilarious. I am laughing so hard. Mine has the same theme as Melissa. Oh, and crumbs. Crumbs are a MAJOR theme. We keep them in every corner of the floor at all times. The kids are so helpful with it, they'll put new ones down as I'm putting away the dustpan from sweeping up the old ones. We don't want them to get all dusty so we need to constantly rotate them.

  5. Ha! Awesome. I've seen all that in neener to everyone else. :P

    Mine is vintage seed signs/flowers, with a colbalt blue wallpaper to set it all off. Come see it in person, won't you? I'll serve fava beans a nice chianti...

  6. I love your kitchen!

    Mine is forest green with white cabinets and a horrid gold and white faux marble laminate. Work in progress.

  7. This is seriously the most awesome kitchen theme that I've EVER seen. Freaking hilarious. WHERE in God's sweet creation did you get the spoon rest??!! Because I have to have one. Now.

    1. It was a gift. Isn't that great?! It never fails to crack me up.

  8. Little known fact:

    Soylent Green is purple.

  9. Oh, how I LOVE it! And I have to laugh at the AJOHMSS's comment. You are both rockstars!


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