Monday, April 30, 2012

Beyoncé Tortured; Left For Dead.

Beyoncé is dead.

We were all kind of expecting this.  She had been dragging ass in Waterville for the last few days.

She would swim to the top of the tank and let herself free-fall to the bottom where she sat on the sand and then rolled onto her side.  Every time she'd be still for too long, Jennifer Lopez would sort of jump-start Beyoncé with a little nibble of her tail fin.  Apparently the thought of being eaten alive sent her to the top of the tank like a rocket.  Then, of course, she'd do that free-fall thing and start the whole weird little Danse Macabre all over again.

This morning, however, she was laying lifeless at the bottom of the tank, her dancing days, over.

*marks Clipboard of Death*

RIP, Beyoncé.  

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