Sunday, March 18, 2012

Stop Me Before I Kill Again!

Spring finds me with a fire under my ass and the need to plant things.  The problem is, my thumbs are very very brown.  

I don't know what it is about the spring that makes me suddenly don my World's Best Gardener hat in place of my trusty Serial Plant Killer one, but it does and I start out with so much passion, you'd think I'd never killed a plant in my life.

Sadly, it doesn't last.  

By mid-summer, you'll find me poolside with a drink in my hand and a radio turned up, surrounded by the Neglected, the Weed-Ridden and the Slowly Decaying, as I musically relive 1985 in a lawn chair, oblivious to their pain.


I discover sometime in June that I'm not much of an outdoor person.  Summer is frigging HOT!  Unless I'm going swimming, I don't want to be out there, and I think my plants know it.


They're probably sitting in their little seed packages, right now placing their bets on which of them will actually bear fruit this year.  I wouldn't put my money on any of them making it.


I'm sorry, future members of my soiled garden, I have spring fever and I can't help myself.  You will all die slow, painful deaths, drowned in an overexcited watering frenzy, choked by weeds and then ignored and left to rot.  


It's not you, it's me.

 

6 comments:

  1. I am right there with you, deary.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Do you have a clipboard for this doomed species, as well?

    And...WHY isn't this blog post about ME?? You should be waxing poetic about all things Lolo. Perhaps crying a bit, from missing me so much, with the random giggle thrown in...so people think you're crazy. Like that. I expect better planning next year. *serious face*

    OH! And!! Do you want me to ride your ass about the plants? We could make it a contest! See how many are still alive by the time I get there! See?? FUN!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love that idea. And I totally dropped the birthday ball on the post, didn't I? :(

      Delete
  3. So, you're like Darla in Finding Nemo? *giggle snicker*

    ReplyDelete
  4. CheesyKitty from CMMarch 22, 2012 at 11:28 AM

    Lol I planted watermellon. I doubt ill even see a sprout let!

    ReplyDelete

Spammers, get bent.



All others, thank you so much for your comments! ♥ Riki









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