Thursday, December 22, 2011

Finding Jesus.

Last year, while driving my children to school, I passed a house with a plastic nativity scene in their front yard.  It was a very simple reproduction of the Holy Family with SuperStepDaddy Joseph and the Virgin Mary kneeling near the...

*blink*

...wait a minute... 

*blink, blink*

*jawdrop* 

It seems that, in this family's version of the Nativity Story, not only was there no room at the inn, but the manger was full as well.  Mary and Joseph knelt near the newborn child in a plastic, Ten Items or Fewer shopping basket. 

It struck me as an interesting decorative choice and I wondered what made them choose to put a half-naked representation of the Messiah in a plastic shopping basket.  

From a distance, the baby-doll that sat in the basket appeared to be a version of the Rub-A-Dub Dolly I had when I was a child.  Its limbs were straightened, which put him at an odd angle in the too-small basket.  Because this doll was not meant to bend, he looked like he'd frozen solid in the cold, which looked more than a little bit creepy.

Was he a place-holder for their real Baby Jesus or did the third part of the Holy Family get baby-napped years ago, forcing the family to search the bargain bin at the Dollar Store for a replacement?

Sadly, I feared we would never know.  On the way to take the girls to their last day of school before winter break, we noticed that Shopping Basket Jesus was missing.  The basket was there, but the Baby Jesus was not. 

We prayed for his safe return.

This year, our prayers were answered.  He is back, but Mary seems to be a little worse for wear.  Behold: 

Virgin Blows Her Top Over Missing Express Lane Messiah's Return


Rising To The Challenge - Another Holiday Photo

Didn't we just do this?  I can't believe it's been a year already. 


December rolls around and parents the world over start to dress up their children in itchy Christmas outfits they'll never wear again, to capture that cherished image of their little ones proving they're worth the presents Santa will surely bring as they smile sweetly for the camera.   We then send those pictures out to friends and family so they can turn seven shades of green at how adorable and well-behaved our children are seem to be.


Last year's photo session was an adventure.  This year, I decided to cut to the chase and go straight for the (for lack of a better term) money shot.  
 

Hm...nice, but...That wasn't good enough for me. In my quest for Teh Funneh, my Christmas Brain blocked out the mayhem that clouded the lens of last year's photo and we kept right on truckin'.



I got a few decent shots, before their body language began to speak to me, "Dear, sweet woman, we know what you want and we're trying our best to make it happen for you, but someone WILL get hurt if we have to do this much longer."


Again, the holiday photo became a battle.  It wasn't quite the Clash of Titans that we've had in the past, but it was definitely a war between What I Wanted and What I Got.  







 This is what we ended up with:  





To say "next year I won't bother" would be an outright lie.  You know damned well I will!    
 

Some Other Stuff I Wrote