Some mornings take you by surprise. I was interrupted from a game of Words With Friends on Facebook by these words, screamed from the kitchen by my six year old:
"Oh, my gosh, MOM! BRINKLEY'S KILLING A RACCOON!!"
Thankfully, today was one of those days when Wonder Dog actually did what I told him to and he dropped the masked intruder after I yelled out "LEAVE IT!" from the back door.
After I called the dog off and got him inside, where he mourned the loss of his VERY lifelike squeaky toy, I watched the raccoon -just a young thing- limp pitifully to the base of the nearest tree and climb to safety.
That's how my day started.
Could've been worse. I could've been the raccoon.
I can just imagine how the poor little guy felt, sneaking through the yard in the early morning, tired from a long night of scavenging and being suddenly attacked and violently shaken by a great hulking beast of a dog.
I'm sure Brinkley's thoughts were "Hey, cool toy! Shaky, shaky. Ooh, it squeaks! Shaky, shaky!"
I'm also fairly sure the raccoon's thoughts were "HOLY FUCK, WHAT IS THIS SHIT?! OW OW OW OW!! SWEET JESUS, MAKE IT STOP! OW OW OW OW OW!!"
He's (She's?) still perched up in the tree, sleeping, recovering (hopefully not bleeding internally).
It's a fine line I walk when it comes to wild animals. I'm not a fan of rabies and I've heard that raccoons are big carriers of it, so I don't really want them in my yard...but I don't want them brutally murdered in front of my children by the family pet either.
Exciting morning, eh? I tell you, every day it's something. Makes you just want to jump up out of bed and say "Okay, world. Gimme what you've got!"
...unless what the world has for you is a big, dumb 110 pound Bernese Mountain Dog with a mouth the size of the Grand Canyon. Yeah.
The raccoon made its escape under cover of darkness. I hope it's learned its lesson.
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