So I got this green paint, right? I was going to use it to redecorate a mirror frame for the girls' bedroom. It was this really groovy FLUORESCENT GREEN. They were going to love this new addition to what is already the coolest bedroom I've ever seen.
After dinner tonight, I got started on it. I put down copious amounts of newspaper on the table outside and I sprayed that green paint on the frame like nobody's business. I sprayed that thing good, man.
About three-quarters of the way through, I noticed that it wasn't really covering the way the spray paints I've used in the past did. It went on completely matte and bubbled in places and what was already starting to dry looked really chalky and had no gloss to it at all. So I read the label (five hours too late) and discovered that it was "Utility Marking Paint".
In my quest to find funky mirror paint in the color of Awesome, I neglected to also find funky mirror paint that would adhere and probably end up distracting my children from their bedtimes with its shiny surfaces. I failed.
I had a mad.
Luckily, I also had a HOSE.
That hose had a spray nozzle with a "JET" setting on it. "JET" is the setting that can take off the shingles on your roof and blow kittens 100 feet into the air.
HAIL THE POWER OF "JET"!!
So I set that spray nozzle to "JET" and I sprayed as much of the Gunky Junky Paint of Splotchy Ickiness (in the color of Awesome) off that sucker as I could. I made some progress. It still looks radioactive, but at least it's a start. It may require another Silkwood Shower and possibly the help of a metal grill brush to get the rest off so I can start over again.
I decided that tomorrow I'll be heading out to the craft store to purchase a more appropriate medium (still in the color of Awesome), but this time I'll be sure to read the labels and find one that will stick...and be shiny. Oh, yes. Shiny.
I cleaned up the newspaper and the mess I made with my mistaken purchase and trucked myself off to the garbage with it, still fuming at the results of my efforts, when Sugar Daddy decided to start the Slow Clap to accompany my Walk of Shame.
When he comes to, he'll find that his eyebrows look quite striking in the color of Awesome.
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